User:Seriphyn/Loren/Jail

It still amazes me how people mistake an assasin for a thief. Thieves find break-ins and pickpocketing a thrill-rush. The thieves I know of don't care who they target and what they take as long it translates into gold.

My standards are far higher. If I have a writ on you, I'll give you twelve hours to do whatever you fancy (of course you won't know you only have twelve hours left to live). After your time expires, I'll cash in your septims. Gold is only as good as the next writ.

Try explaining this to a half-wit watch guard convinced you're the thief he's been looking for. He sees a bow and a quill full of arrows on my back, finds lockpicks in my pockets and that's enough for him to go da-da! Honestly, the Imperial Watch are a bunch of lazy, stupid bastards with swords and heavy armor. They'll arrest anyone they see "fit for a crime" so they can knock off five minutes early for a hit on the head with a laddle and a belly full of ale.

Unfortunately for me, imperial soldiers are stubborn selective listeners and quite apt in hauling skinny-ass girls like me to jail.

Now I'm locked up in a dingy cell for no good reason. Talos, it stinks worse than a latrine. Wish I hadn't eaten those smoke slaughterfish sticks earlier; the taste is crawling back up my throat.

I suppose I could lockpick my way out but how far would I get? I hope Sentias is back at the base. Frankly, he owes me a favor. For now, I'll have wait until the morning when I can get my free visit.

Should I trust the crusty bedroll? Yuck! It smells like a cow pissed on it. Looks like the stone floor will be my five-star bed for the night. Hopefully, a night is all I will spend in this forsaken hole.

Psst - pretty Redguard. You awake?

"Huh?" Is someone calling me? Where am I? It's so dark I can't see a thing. Oh, wait, I see rows of bars swimming into view. Shit - now I remember. I'm in jail. I honestly don't remember falling asleep.

"Pretty Redguard. How you like your cell? Is it grand enough for you?"

The voice is coming from the cell opposite me. It's coming from a goddamn dark elf. I'm tempted to escape and steal back my shortsword from the evidence chest it's stored in, just so I can come back and hack off the sly smirk from this bastard's face.

"What'd you want?"

"Oh come now, there's no need to be hostile. We're room mates after all are we not?"

"Go piss on a daedroth."

"Your elegant speechcraft tickles my wit. It'll be a pleasure to watch you rot in that stinking cell of yours. If you have deluded yourself in believing you can escape, you better think twice. No one has ever escaped. You're going to die here Redguard. Die."

"Aren't you a welcoming host?"

"Ha-ha-ah."

The Dark Elf has clearly lost his marbles. Actually, I think most dark elves have a screw loose somewhere in their brains. I've never known one who wasn't borderline nuts.

"You hear that Redguard? It's the guards coming for YOU!"

Footsteps approaching. Heavy and light? Heavy I expect but there is a set that doesn't move in line with the rest. Who's coming and are they really coming for me?